Wednesday, June 10, 2009

James Bond in Kuwait

The famous 007 agent is being chased by the bad guys on Fahaheel express. Bond weaves through the traffic in his Aston Martin DB9 driving at over 200 km/hr. After bobing in and out of the lanes he notices the empty left lane and quickly changes lane leaving the bad guys eating his dust. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, a kick ass SUV blasts flashes of xenon behind him - stunned, the secrent agent can not phathom from where this SUV sneaked behind him. Bond pushes the accelerator further, touching 220 km/hr. The SUV is relentless in its claim to the left lane and continues to flash him with the mighty xenon. He moves to the emergency lane, the SUV follows, he bobs back to the left lane, the SUV still behind him. The englishman is a bit peeved - he pulls a knob next to the gear shift - panels located on the side walls of the doors open and launch missiles towards the SUV. But the xenon lights of the SUV are so mighty that the missiles are vaporised.

Bond increases his speed more - 230 km/hr then to 240 km/hr - everytime he increases his speed, the SUV keeps getting bigger in his rearview mirror. The secrent agent just hates tailgaters, so, like the cultured englishman that he is, he swtiches on the right indicator, changes lanes, and gives way - the SUV bursts ahead breaking the sound barrier - Bond witnesses his first sonic boom on land.

After driving for a few minutes, Bond can see the SUV pulled up to the side by a cop - he smirks. Little does he know that he too is going to be pulled up for driving in the emergency lane. The SUV owner and Bond are questioned by the cop. 

The following conversation pursues:
Cop to Bond
Cop: "Name?"
Bond: "Bond, James Bond."
Cop: "Occupation"
Bond: "I work for Her Majesty."

Cop to owner of kick ass SUV
Cop: "Hello !!!" (followed by two kisses to the cheek)
Owner of kick ass SUV: "Hi! I am Mr. ABC, and I know Mr. XYZ, who knows Mr. BCD, who knows Mr. RST....blah blah blah."

The cop lets the owner of the kick ass SUV go scot free. He writes a fine note, hands it over to 007, and tells him, "You can not travel without paying the fine."

Moral of the story: It does not matter if you work for Her Majesty or drive an Aston Martin DB9. If you do not have wasta in Kuwait, do not drive like James Bond.

Note: I was thinking of adding a round about situation in the whole story, but could not fit that in anywhere. It was on the lines of Bond waiting to enter the round about while everyone else flouts the "cars approaching from left have right of way" law. 

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1 Comments:

  • ROFL ! nice story. Next time pls write about his adventures at Sheraton Circle a.k.a Circle of Doom!

    By Blogger Mathai, at 2:14 pm  

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